You Have Permission

by Jen Owen, N.P. | Apr 9, 2021 | Mind-Body Medicine

A common thing that happens in my office every day is that I give people permission. I give them permission to take care of themselves first, to say no to things that drain their energy, to rest when they need, and permission to be who they really are.

This seems rather obvious and you may be rolling your eyes and thinking, ‘I don’t need permission for these things’. And, you don’t, really, yet most people I work with feel deep down like they do.

Here are 3 ways you can grant yourself permission:

1. Permission to say no

You know when you’re talking with someone and they ask you if you want to do something and you know immediately that you don’t want to do it? What often happens is that you say yes anyway. You ignore the ‘no’ and you say “yes”.

These are usually the times when you are miserable doing the thing, you cause a whole bunch of grief for your family, you get exhausted from doing it, etc.

Sound familiar?

What if (especially right now during these times), you only said “yes” when it’s a “heck yeah!”? You only say “yes” when you know with certainty that you want to do the thing.

If it’s not a “heck yeah!”, then it’s a “no”.

You don’t have to feel bad, worry that you’re disappointing people, or fear that people won’t like you.

You have permission to “just say no”. Period.

Try it and see how much better you feel inside yourself when you do this every time.

2. Permission to rest

We live in a culture that values hard work. Rest comes after you’ve proven that you worked hard enough and never before. We are trained that rest equals laziness. We value clean houses, perfect lawns, shapely bodies, and home cooked organic meals.

We don’t value rest.

Where in the world did this come from? Who decided this?

What if we valued listening to our body’s call for resting?

How much more productive would we be when we have energy if we rested when we don’t?

There’s a little voice inside of us that keeps repeating, ‘I’m so tired, I’m so tired’ or ‘I just need a break’ or ‘If only I could lie down for just a few minutes’. Yet, what do we do? We drink more coffee or a Red Bull, we eat some sugar, or we rally ourselves in some other day.

We don’t generally listen to that voice.

Now, if you’re like most people I know, a little rest goes a long way. Why not try resting when you get the cue that your body needs it?

I’d love to hear back from you about how much better you feel when you do this.

3. Permission to shine

I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve had other women say to me things like, “You have to be the perfect one” or “Way to make the rest of us look bad” or “Tone it down a notch”.

You know those times when you’re really excited about something, you’re in a great mood, or something wonderful has happened and you’re celebrating, and there’s that person that has to say the mean thing to take a little bit of it away from you?

I give you fill permission to stop listening to them (or to release them from your life if that’s better for you).

I’m not sure where this came from either. People (especially cis women) can’t stand it when someone else is happy or successful, so they say take a little jab to bring us down.

What if we all shined as brightly as we could? What if we stopped dampening our lights because they make others uncomfortable?

It’s a practice, for sure and it’s SO worth it!

You are special, you are beautiful, you are unique, and you are the ONLY YOU!

Shine brightly my friend and let’s all be part of supporting one another instead of brining one another down!

What permissions do you need in your life right now?

What would be better if you just started giving yourself permission now?

These types of conversations are typical in my integrative practice. I’d love to support you with a consultation soon, and please be sure to share this blog with others in your life who need to hear it, too.

Permission to Be Loved

by Jen Owen, N.P. | Apr 5, 2021 | Mind-Body Medicine

Last week on the blog, I talked about giving yourself permission to say no, to rest when needed, and to shine as your best self. You can read that here if you missed it.

This week, I want to go one step further and give you permission to be loved.

I know that seems obvious, we all deserve love. And yes, of course that’s true.

But, do you really allow it?

For many people, when they were children, love got associated with being “good”, getting good grades, doing what you’re told, or being “nice”. Love came in the form of sugar, money, or a quick pat on the back.

Many people I’ve worked with don’t even know what the truest form of love actually is.

If you’re religious or spiritual, you may have felt love from God/Spirit. If you love nature, you may have felt divine love from the trees, mountains, or the ocean.

That’s the form of love I’m talking about.

So, often I see and feel (when I’m working in the pelvic bowl) how many of us have put up a shield of armor around ourselves (and our pelvic bowls) to protect ourselves from being hurt. We’ve had negative experiences with those who are supposed to love us, so we block all forms of love from us.

What has been helpful for me is to realize that love that has any conditions or requirements attached isn’t really the kind of love we all need anyway.

We need that divine love I talked about earlier and we all deserve to receive it no matter if we are “good” or if we achieve our goals.

One way I recommend remembering what that kind of love feels like is to do daily grounding exercises (learn more here).

Another way is through meditation and prayer.

Mostly, it’s about healing your relationship with yourself so that you can feel worthy of receiving pure love all the time.

Holistic Pelvic Care™ is one of the best ways to connect with yourself if you were assigned female at birth. Click here to learn more. 

My friend, you are worthy of love. Real love in all of its forms. Let’s help you believe it.