Written by our Counselor, Jody Cecil
The holiday season has arrived, and autumn is quickly shifting into winter with colder temperatures and shorter days. A perfect time for soup! Wait? As the counselor at Flourish, is Jody really going to share a recipe for soup? Yes . . . and no. The recipe I would like to share is for “tear soup.”
I first learned about Tear Soup years ago from a close friend who had lost multiple people in her life due to a tragic car accident. The story helped us both to understand what grief might look like in the moments, days, and years to follow. Written by Pat Schwiebert and her son, Chuck DeKlyen, Tear Soup is a beautifully illustrated story about a woman named Grandy who suffers a big loss in her life. She sets out to make a large pot of soup, complete with salty tears, feelings, memories, friends, and self-care.
The process of grief is much like making soup. While you may have a recipe to follow, you also improvise. Soup making is an art that takes time and patience. So does grief. If we are being honest, most of us would prefer to move through the pain of loss quickly – buy a can of soup, heat it up and eat it in one sitting. Maybe two. The reality is that grief takes longer than anyone wants it to, just like homemade soup. In Tear Soup, Grandy takes her time in making her own pot of soup, even as she realizes that those around her will have their own pot of soup to make. When she’s finished, she puts the soup in the freezer, knowing she can pull it out from time to time for a little taste.
During the holidays, grief can feel more intense because it’s a time heavily focused on family, togetherness, and traditions that highlight the loss of a loved one or any loss. The pressure to be happy and festive can also worsen the feelings of sadness and loneliness. Holiday sights, sounds, and activities trigger memories, often with no warning. If you find yourself grieving this holiday season, I invite you to consider taking the time to make a pot of tear soup. You choose the ingredients. (The book, Tear Soup might be a helpful addition to your soup.) Know that your ingredients can include others as well, including a counselor. If you need more support this holiday season, please reach out. I’d be honored to be a part of your “soup”. You can find me at takingrootcounseling.com.
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