Written by Jody Cecil, our Licensed Professional Counselor at The Flourish Center in Portland, Oregon
Tis the season to be jolly . . . wait. No? The holidays can be joyful, but they often bring stress, emotional challenges, and pressure for perfection. As a therapist, I often hear from clients who feel overwhelmed by family expectations, social commitments, and the desire to create meaningful experiences. Let’s be honest . . . I do too! If you’re struggling, please know there’s nothing wrong with you. We can all struggle at this time of year.
How is peace possible when there are so many expectations and responsibilities? One of the first steps is to recognize the old patterns that holidays can activate. Whether it’s people-pleasing, striving for perfection, or withdrawing, these survival strategies often resurface when we’re around family or revisiting traditions. Awareness is key – notice when these patterns show up and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can in that moment. You might find it helpful to consider that pattern as a part of you. They are not all of you. Acknowledging and understanding that part’s fears can make it easier to pause, break the usual pattern, and respond in a new way.
Understanding your needs is also important. The holidays can tangle up different types of needs – emotional, relational, and spiritual. Take time to reflect on what you truly need this season. Is it rest, connection, or simply permission to say no? Untangling these needs can help you approach the holidays with greater clarity and compassion for yourself.
We can be pretty hard on ourselves during the holidays. What would it look like for you to pause and offer yourself kindness? When old wounds or triggers arise, try a simple practice. Place a hand on your heart, breathe deeply and slowly, acknowledge your feelings, and offer yourself a moment of compassion. You don’t have to fix everything or carry the weight of the season alone. Even brief moments of self-kindness can open the door back to peace.
Remember, peace is not about perfection; it’s about finding small pockets of stillness and allowing yourself to be present. You are not alone, and with gentle intention, you can find your way back to peace.
As a licensed professional counselor, Jody sees clients both virtually and in person at the Flourish Center. She uses a variety of modalities to help her clients in reaching their goals including Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Trauma-Informed Stabilization Treatment (TIST), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Whatever modality is used, Jody values the uniqueness and strengths of each person and invites them to embrace healing wholistically. You can contact Jody by visiting her website, Taking Root Counseling. From there, use the contact page to message Jody directly.
